work

In Limbo

Normally this time of day I’d be getting off work and heading to the gym. This is now the third day I haven’t done that and it’s starting to make me feel really unsettled. I’ve done dishes, laundry, run errands, and tried to read a book, but I can’t shake this aching need to be productive. I literally can’t concentrate on anything so there’s no reading, writing (beside this blog), movie watching, or working out that can tame me. I’d cook but we’re leaving to go on vacation tomorrow and already have tons of leftovers that need to be consumed before then. (They’ll probably end up in the freezer).

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On the bright side, I brushed my teeth and fixed my hair today. I even put on jeans and went to the bank, the library, and Target. I applied for 8 or 9 jobs online and I’m leaving soon to babysit for MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) at my church. It’s just $20 every other Thursday but it’s something! Also, my eating was a little more on track today. The oatmeal I made last week was looking gross so I had wheat toast with almond butter and strawberries (YUM!) and a hardboiled egg. The eggs turned out PERFECT this time thanks to Ken. Whoever he may be. I am forever indebted! Lunch was some Honey Mustard Pretzel Chicken with streamed broccoli and I had Kashi crackers for a snack. It’s an improvement!

What do you do when you’re in between?

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Digesting. Not food.

Just a few days ago I was celebrating the soon to be made shift in my employment status. From frazzled, frenzied full time work to something part time, all because my husband secured a part time job in addition to his full time position. Before I had the chance to actually make the change, it was made for me. I was fired from my full time job yesterday. You know, the one I was soon going to quit anyway? I don’t quite understand why. A couple months ago I was verbally abused by my boss for forgetting to make two phone calls, and then yesterday, after asking to have time taken out of my pay instead of making up the hours, I was fired for “not being a team player”. Basically it sounds like they just didn’t like me. I worked my butt off for that company and did my very best work day in and day out for them. That part makes me a little sad. The time and energy I wasted. But on the other hand, how much longer would I have spent the majority of my day in an environment of negativity, bullying, gossip, and stress? Maybe I needed to be pushed from the nest. Either way, here I am now, working my way through this change.

With all the extra time I’ve had the past couple days, you’d think I would gotten in a couple good workouts. Especially with vacation now less than 48 hours away. I haven’t gotten any extra workouts in, but I have been working out. Monday and Tuesday mornings before work (ha), I did Jillian Michaels’ 30 day shred. Monday I did level 2 and realized that it was hardly a challenge. Tuesday, for the first time since I bought the DVD over 3 years ago, I gave level 3 a try. It was crazy hard, and I thought I was going to die at one point, but not impossible. I completed it! Monday night I did a little late night Yoga before bed. I’m really loving Yoga lately. The feeling of peace and strength simultaneously increasing is so refreshing. It so different from running where I’m constantly pushing and challenging myself. It’s a weird phase I’m going through, but I feel tired of fighting and would rather just be.

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Today, I didn’t workout at all. Partially because I spent the day reading, relaxing, cleaning, and applying for jobs. But mostly because I was so sore from 30 day shred yesterday. I might do some yoga again tonight or in the morning. And I am planning on getting a couple more good workouts in before we leave Friday night.

My eating has been totally out of whack lately. I haven’t been enjoying the meals I’ve made and nothing but salt and sugar sounds good. I know drinking more water would help, and I also know that giving into cravings just makes them more intense. But I just can’t shake it. I’m really struggling to get off the merry go round this time. On the bright side, I know I’m the smallest I’ve ever been in my adult life. I tried on my smallest pair of shorts to take on vacation and they fit with room to spare. I’m really not interested in planning and perfection right now, just taking good care of myself and being the best version of myself possible. This eating whatever I crave thing isn’t really part of that equation and I know it’ll eventually catch up with me. If anyone has figured out how to tackle this cravings thing in a not too restrictive way, I’d love to hear.

Lots of opportunity for advice here tonight. I’d love to hear it!

 

 

44/Meal Plan + A New Plan

Today’s post is going to be sort of “Choose Your Own Adventure” style. (I used to love those books as a kid!). If you’d like the long story with special announcement, and a little bit of dreaming about the future, continue reading from here. If you just came by to see what I’m cooking this week and how the week leading up to vacation is shaping up, then skip down a bit to “This Week”. Thanks for stopping by!

 

It has been quite the whirlwind of a week. I began the week, just as exhausted as the week previous. I knew I should have been working out but I chose not to day after day. Part of the trouble was that I may have chipped a chuck of a molar off last Saturday while eating candy. I had to leave work early Monday to go to and emergency dentist where I was luckily able to just get it filled – no crown needed! Whew!

 

But also on Monday, I got an email from my boss requesting a write up of our daily job responsibilities with step-by-step directions on how to do everything we do all day. Um… what? I spent the rest of the week working late to make up for leaving early on Monday and typing up an 18 page “job description” while trying to stay on top of my actual job in order to not get fired. Yes, that is a realistic possibility. Someone in my 30 person office gets fired or quits every 2-3 weeks. I’ve been on the chopping block twice now (for forgetting to make two phone calls and for not magically knowing how to do something I was never trained to do) so one more instance and I know I’m gone. We can’t really afford for me to not have a job, so I’ve been working my butt off and stressing out like crazy instead of working out and eating well.

This blog is about health right? Mental health even? I hope you all can understand – I had a meltdown. Like crying while driving to work Friday because I didn’t want to go to work. Because I have had no energy to take care of myself. Because I didn’t know how  much longer I could really live in the fear of being fired everyday. Because my boss is verbally abusive (to anyone who doesn’t give him his way) and I just can’t have those words floating around in my head all the time.

 

So this amazing thing happened in the midst of my anxiety. My husband stepped in and saved the day. He’s taking on an extra part time job to take the pressure off my work situation. Now before you go feeling all bad for him, let me clarify that his current job is full time, but less than 40 hours a week. His new job will be a few nights a week and an occasional weekend and it’s for a company he LOVES. Neither job will be incredibly demanding or stressful and he’s so perfectly suited for both positions.

 

I’m going to continue working full time as long as I can handle it, knowing that I can walk away from my stressful, wearing job whenever I want to. I’m currently searching for a part time job (or two) that I know I’ll like. I really don’t want to work more than 30 hours a week (or 4 days) because I’ll be spending the other 10 or so hours a week taking care of literally everything in our home for us. That means I’ll no longer have a grocery shopping buddy, a sous chef, or a honey-do list. Once I make the shift to part time I’ll be responsible for all of the shopping, cooking, cleaning (including his laundry that he’s been doing himself since we got married), finances, and errand running. And I. Can’t Wait!

 

I’m really hoping that a switch to part time may also mean a little more time spent writing this blog. I have a whole list (Secret confession – I love lists!) of ideas that I’d like to share. Some educational, some experimental, lots more of the current format (daily healthy living), and I have a few fun surprises up my sleeve.

 

This week:

 

It’s vacation week! We are now just 5 sleeps away from our San Diego trip. Sidenote: I read somewhere that you aren’t supposed to tell people on the internet when you’re going to be gone on vacation because they might take all of you earthly possessions from your house. But I guarantee you that either the friend staying at our place will kick your butt or our attack cat will claw your eyes out if you try to break in while we’re gone. Moving on… I am desperately excited for our trip. I’ve been obsessively checking the weather and everytime I’m on the Weather Channel or Accuweather app, the forecast looks better and better. Right now we’re looking at 72 and a 0% chance of rain all three days!

 

I’m a little bummed that I haven’t been working a little harder toward my weight loss goal cause that’s shorts weather. But I’m kicking it into high gear this week. I haven’t really gained any weight in the past 9-10 days of not working out. Maybe a pound or two and it’s mostly in my tummy which I (fortunately!) don’t have too much trouble losing. So my plan is to do Jillian Michaels’ 30 day Shred is the morning before work, and then a good workout of cardio and weights after work just like normal. I do still need to keep the house cleaned up for our house sitter and I’ll need to run a few laods of laundry and pack. All of our food’s made for the week already but I’ll be plenty busy anyway.

 

Speaking of food for the week…

 

This week I really wanted to focus on clean eating and eating mostly produce and lean meats. I knew this would give me the energy I need to get through a little extra working out this week and eating cleaner will combat that belly fat quicker than anything else I could eat. So here’s the plan for the week:

Breakfast: Cranberry Chocolate Oatmeal (I’ve already tried this and it’s good, but I’d use half as much water)

From Clean Eating Chelsey

 

Lunch/Dinner:

Linguine with Carrots and Turkey Ragu

Photo from Good House Keeping

 

Steak and Chicken Stir Fry with Cauliflower “Rice” (I tried this already too. I will never eat real rice again!)

 

From Undressed Skeleton

 

Honey Mustard Pretzel Chicken with Steamed Broccoli. ( Had this too; if you make it, make sure the pretzels are crushed finely of they won’t stick. And cut the dressing in half. It’s really high in calories!)

From A Happy and Healthy Whirlwind of a Life

 

So what are you cooking this week? Any leads on some creative, flexible type part time jobs?

 

 

 

 

 

15/10-11

It’s been a while. I’m sorry. Thursday was one of the worst days I’ve had in a long time. I got yelled at (literally) by my boss and received 2 write up for forgetting to make 2 phone calls. He crushed my spirit and I didn’t have then enegry to workout or write. Friday was a bit better, but it was date night so I missed my workout and writing once again. Today though, I totally made up for all of that. I spent over 2 hours at the gym and here I am updating!

My workout today was a twofer. I ran 6 miles on the treadmill, switching off between a 1/2% and 1% incline and then dropping to a 0% incline on the last mile but increasing the speed by .1 mph for every tenth of a mile. Today I dedicated my 6 miles to Meg’s Miles, a virtual running event to honor the life of Meg Cross Menzies and raise awareness for safety for runners on the road. If you haven’t heard, Monday morning this week, Meg was out for a morning run. It was light out, she was on a 2 foot wide shoulder running toward traffic. She did everything right. A drunk driver swerved off the road and killed her. So today I ran 6 miles for her. I spent a little time praying for her family and friends and that this would finally be a time for awareness to be raised for the safety of runners out on roads in every neighborhood. Please friends, be conscious of pedestrians while driving!

Anyway, after my 6 mile run, I went to LA’s Body Works Plus Abs class (finally! I’ve been trying to make it for weeks!). It was okay. They ran out of 5lb weights so I had to hold two 2.5 lb weights and it was a little hard to hold onto them; not too heavy, my thumb just hurt from hold two handles instead of one. The upper boy workout would’ve been great though with the right weights. The ab portion was fantastic. I didn’t feel like there was much of a lower body workout and I ended up skipping the cool down and spent 10 minutes on a few lower body weight machines. I  wrapped it all up with 10 minutes on the elliptical. 914 calories burned total! I considered half those calories workout 10 and half workout 11. So I’m still on track.

My eating on the other hand – not on track at all. Thursday I was upset and only had my three meals, no snacks. and only 4 glasses of water. Friday I did well all day until I skipped half of my afternoon snack and went out for dinner with my husband. We went to a Mexican restaurant and I had tons of chips and salsa, 1 1/2 small chicken quesadillas, and hald of the refried beans and rice. Oh, plus some sour cream and guacamole. I was stuffed. ANd then I went home and had 800 calories of York peppermint patties. I felt sick to my stomach. I hope never to do that again! All in all I’m going to guess it was an extra 2,200 calories. Yikes! I was to hungry from not eating enough Thursday. Luckily I was still full today from eating too much last night too. I only had lunch, a 100 calorie snack, a MUCH smaller portion of last night’s dinner, and dessert. Right about 1,000 calories for today. Tomorrow I get back on track!

Oh, and my weight. Yesterday I weighed in at the exact weight I was last Friday. I was a little bummed. But I didn’t gain anything and my clothes are much looser so I know I’m still on track. Actually today at the grocery store, someone noticed my Polar Dash fleece and asked if I ran the 14 mile course last Saturday – she was surprised that I ran the 10k cause I looked like I was in good running shape! And then an older couple by the check out said I looked skinny and like I’d be a fast runner (this came from out of nowhere, seriously!) and then said I was really strong to pick fit all my groceries into 2 bags and then carry them out to the car one on each shoulder. And honestly, I am pretty strong to be able to do that. I wouldn’t have been able to do that a few weeks ago. I’m still proud of the progress I’ve made and excited to see what the next 5 weeks holds!

(Sorry for the lack of pictures today….)

How was your Saturday workout? Anyone else run for Meg?