Digesting. Not food.

Just a few days ago I was celebrating the soon to be made shift in my employment status. From frazzled, frenzied full time work to something part time, all because my husband secured a part time job in addition to his full time position. Before I had the chance to actually make the change, it was made for me. I was fired from my full time job yesterday. You know, the one I was soon going to quit anyway? I don’t quite understand why. A couple months ago I was verbally abused by my boss for forgetting to make two phone calls, and then yesterday, after asking to have time taken out of my pay instead of making up the hours, I was fired for “not being a team player”. Basically it sounds like they just didn’t like me. I worked my butt off for that company and did my very best work day in and day out for them. That part makes me a little sad. The time and energy I wasted. But on the other hand, how much longer would I have spent the majority of my day in an environment of negativity, bullying, gossip, and stress? Maybe I needed to be pushed from the nest. Either way, here I am now, working my way through this change.

With all the extra time I’ve had the past couple days, you’d think I would gotten in a couple good workouts. Especially with vacation now less than 48 hours away. I haven’t gotten any extra workouts in, but I have been working out. Monday and Tuesday mornings before work (ha), I did Jillian Michaels’ 30 day shred. Monday I did level 2 and realized that it was hardly a challenge. Tuesday, for the first time since I bought the DVD over 3 years ago, I gave level 3 a try. It was crazy hard, and I thought I was going to die at one point, but not impossible. I completed it! Monday night I did a little late night Yoga before bed. I’m really loving Yoga lately. The feeling of peace and strength simultaneously increasing is so refreshing. It so different from running where I’m constantly pushing and challenging myself. It’s a weird phase I’m going through, but I feel tired of fighting and would rather just be.

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Today, I didn’t workout at all. Partially because I spent the day reading, relaxing, cleaning, and applying for jobs. But mostly because I was so sore from 30 day shred yesterday. I might do some yoga again tonight or in the morning. And I am planning on getting a couple more good workouts in before we leave Friday night.

My eating has been totally out of whack lately. I haven’t been enjoying the meals I’ve made and nothing but salt and sugar sounds good. I know drinking more water would help, and I also know that giving into cravings just makes them more intense. But I just can’t shake it. I’m really struggling to get off the merry go round this time. On the bright side, I know I’m the smallest I’ve ever been in my adult life. I tried on my smallest pair of shorts to take on vacation and they fit with room to spare. I’m really not interested in planning and perfection right now, just taking good care of myself and being the best version of myself possible. This eating whatever I crave thing isn’t really part of that equation and I know it’ll eventually catch up with me. If anyone has figured out how to tackle this cravings thing in a not too restrictive way, I’d love to hear.

Lots of opportunity for advice here tonight. I’d love to hear it!

 

 

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